Does anyone else feel really guilty when they start talking about their own feelings and then immediately regret saying anything because you just feel so annoying and pathetic and ugh
Once you get this you have to say 5 things you like about yourself publicly then pass on to 10 of your favourite followers.
I was tagged by a-nightingale-in-a-golden-cage so thanks, I guess :P
1. Musical ability
2. I’m loyal, possibly to a fault
3. My taste in music
4. My ability to stay surprisingly laid back a lot
5. I was well brought up, I dont know how to say it in a way that works for this, but I’m very thankful for it, and I think it might be my best trait
I dont really know if anyone will respond, but as 1 of my favourite followers tagged me, I dont think I can make it to 10: (in no particular order) letslivethepixelatedlife manon-dela-source just-a-hurt-girl thefaythless
I think thats it
Some of the anxiety is gone for now, the rest of this week is just drumming (a lot.) I’m still not exactly good and I’d still really like someone to come and help me calm down, but since that isn’t happening ever, I’m trying to work out at what time tonight I should just give up and go to bed.
This is so stupid, but I want to do a solo project, a band with just me, in an atmospheric-folk-black metal style, basically, like Agolloch or Solstifir. Called ‘Bha e brèagha an-de’. (But I don’t speak Gaelic, I only know it’s Gaelic so I looked it up, it means ‘Yesterday was beautiful’ - I think)
Thats it, I want to do nothing, I especially want to not talk. Damn people.
You think ‘Okay, I get it, I’m prepared for the worst’, but you hold out that small hope, see, and that’s what fucks you up. That’s what kills you.
I don’t need excitement or adventure. All I need is security and safety, a routine maybe. That’s how I feel most comfortable, that’s where I can thrive and be the best person I can be.
What a shame that “security and safety” doesn’t exist when you’re 20.
Fuck off. Piss off. Leave me alone. I don’t care about your summer or your meals or your gym shit. I just want to not talk to people that I currently don’t care/are worried about. ie, if you aren’t one of two people (from tumblr) then I don’t care.
I loved seeing my brother, and his family. They’re so good and even if my mum doesn’t like it, I do. He’s still my brother, they’re still my nieces and nephew. I love them.
When we got back we got to sit around with my cousin and her daughter, I changed. I couldn’t be bothered pretending to care about this little girl crawling back and forward. Especially while my grandparents just become attention seekers fighting over this 1 year old.
All I want to do is go home. Sleep in a bed. Have reliable internet. Make sure you are all ok. But tomorrow we go home and Monday I have to do shit. Driving lesson at night. If I don’t pass my fucking test next week i might have a nervous breakdown. I just want to not do anything and this next 2 weeks is going to kill me: I start college again, I have 7 hours of practice across 3 days this week, I have a (first) festival gig on Saturday 2 hours (by train) away, it’s my probably very lonely 19th birthday, I’m playing bass in church, I have my driving test. Then I have to get ready for my first 2 gigs with the other band for the week after.
I just want to sleep.
Fucking go to bed, leave me alone. Have these unnecessary conversations sometime when it isnt 2:22am